2

Drank half of bottle of wine already. My mind is racing and floating steadily in the same time. “Where is my mind?”-Pixies nailed it!

I have absolutely no reason to act the way I do. Yet still...

My mouth cannot express what my mind so firmly wants to let out.

I’m going to a shrink. Soon. Will it help? Probably not. I am utterly incapable of opening up entirely, irrefutable. I am forever locked, trapped into my head. It will not give me a rest, a gulp of air, a moment of peace and quiet. I do not even know the definition of “silence”.

This is torture, pure self-destruction. Irreversible. I enjoy it at times. Self-destruction, that is. I savor every poisonous drop of it. It is fully intoxicating, it spreads like a firing, hot air balloon through my spirit, and yet it is of unimaginable complexity. And dimensions.

Wake up!